Blame My Bladder
by Strawberry Raindrops
Summary: AU. Oneshot. Slight NaruSaku. The men's room is under maintenance and Naruto has to go to the bathroom really bad! What more could go wrong when he decides to sneak into the girls' bathroom?


**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Nagato wouldn't have ever suddenly become "BFFs" with Naruto all of a sudden. -rolls eyes-**

**A/N: This is based on a true story that happened to my friend and I decided to write it in the perspective of my friend and changed the people to characters from _Naruto. _(The real me is Kiba in the story, seriously, lol.)Might turn into a two-shot, might turn into full chapters story, dunno yet. Most likely will remain as a oneshot though.**

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****LOCATION: Konoha Leaf Mall**

**POV: Naruto**

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_Under maintenance._

The guys' bathroom was _under maintenance. _

I gawked at the sign as I inwardly banged my head against the wall repeatedly.

The next men's room was upstairs and I didn't think that I could hold it that long.

I had to go _really _bad.

"Just go to the girls' bathroom," Kiba said as he grinned and pointed to the girls' room.

My eyes slowly traveled to the girls' restroom which was only a few feet away from the men's room.

"You're _kidding _right?!" I snapped, glaring at the chestnut-haired boy. "Yeah right!!"

"Aw, come on. Just see if there's anyone inside. If someone's inside, then just run to the next mens' room but if no one's there, just go inside. Besides, you got to go really bad, right?"

I gulped.

He had a point there.

_Don't even THINK about it, Naruto, _I thought as beads of sweat perspired my forehead and I continued to stare at the girls' restroom.

But I finally flitted towards the girls' restroom and slowly peered inside to see if there was anyone there. Not a single person was inside and all the stalls were open.

"See? No one's inside," Kiba said. "Just go in!"

Biting my lower lip, I slowly turned away from the girls' bathroom and looked left and right to see if anyone else besides Kiba was there.

The coast was clear.

_Just go in, relieve yourself, then peer over the cubicle to see if there's anyone out in the bathroom. If there is, wait until she leaves, if there isn't, just run outside. It's going to be really simple. No harm will be done, right? Nothing will go wrong, right? Just go in... besides you have to go really bad!! _I told myself and with a final nod, I rushed into the girls' bathroom and bolted into a stall as I quickly locked it and relieved myself.

After finishing, I zipped up my pants and forgetting to peer over the stall to see if the coast was clear, I casually strolled out of the cubicle.

_Big. Mistake._

I froze as I saw a pink-haired girl leaning over the sink, looking at her reflection in the mirror as she applied lip gloss on.

When she saw me in the reflection of the mirror, she froze too as she quickly whirled around and shot me the _darkest _glare _ever._

I swallowed.

_You idiot!! _I screamed at myself. _How could you have forgotten to see if the coast was clear?! UGH! Now just RUN! RUN! RUN!!_

But my legs wouldn't listen.

I just stayed frozen there, my feet glued to the floor, my shocked and scared expression plastered upon my face and her glare plastered upon hers.

"What the _fuck _are you doi--" She began in a threatening voice.

"S-sorry!" I stammered as I scratched the back of my head.

_Run, damn it, run!_

My feet wouldn't budge though.

"The men's room was under maintenance and the next mens' bathroom was upstairs and I couldn't hold it that long and I saw that the girls' bathroom wasn't under maintenance.. and I saw that no one was inside and so I decided if I quickly go in, no one would notice.." I rambled on _and on._

I _always _rambled whenever I was nervous or panicking.

She merely stared at me, raising an eyebrow, _gawking _at me.

"..And I forgot to see if the coast was clear over the stall and I just came out and then you were there! Sorry--- is that your real hair color?!" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

I also said things and did things before I thought when I was nervous or panicking.

Wait... I actually did that all the time.

The girl continued to glare at me darkly.

I cowered under her glare but I couldn't help but notice that her jade eyes were really pretty..

"What do _you _care?!" She growled.

"I..uh..I.." I stammered as I took a step back from her and let out a small nervous chuckle. "Sorry! I-I'll get going now!!"

And with that, my feet finally listened to my brain as I quickly ran out of the bathroom.

After I was finally out of the bathroom, I glared at the laughing Kiba.

He was laughing so much, he was clutching at his stomach and tears sprang up to his eyes.

"Shut up, you bastard!" I groaned as I slapped his shoulder. "That girl was _fucking _scary.."

He continued to laugh as I continued to slug and slap him out of annoyance which only made him laugh even harder and more.

After we were a few feet away from the restrooms, he finally calmed down a little as he asked to borrow some money since he wanted to buy a Coke.

Sighing, I reached into my pocket only to find it was empty.

I froze as my eyes widened and I quickly turned to the bathrooms.

Just then though, my wallet flew across and slapped _right _on my forehead, causing me to stumble back a little.

"_You forgot your wallet, you perverted asshole_!!" The pink-haired girl shouted furiously at me as she stepped out of the girls' bathroom and held her head high and walked off.

Rubbing my forehead, I picked up my wallet and gaped a little at the girl who already disappeared.

"_Whoa_!!" Kiba gasped as he had another round of a fit of laughter. "She has _amazing _aim! Hahahaha!!"

I couldn't agree more as I scratched the back of my head.

Sighing, I turned around as I opened my wallet to give Kiba a few bucks but then I saw a slip of paper fall out of my wallet.

Raising an eyebrow, I picked up the paper.

It read:

_Sakura Haruno. _

_011-1234-5687_


End file.
